by Tina Brinley.
Source
Imagine someone offering you a big piece of double-layer chocolate cake with rich fudge frosting, chocolate syrup dripping down the sides, and whipped cream topping it off. If you are like me, you would have a hard time passing that up, even if you weren't hungry at all. The words that would pass through your mind would probably be something like luscious and tempting.
Now imagine someone offering you a platter of freshly picked sweet corn, cooked to just the right tenderness and steaming hot. Most likely, if you've eaten recently and aren't really hungry, your thoughts would go something like this: sweet, fresh, good, wholesome—but I think I'll wait and have some at my next meal.
By the way we dress we can either be like the chocolate cake—tempting others to give in to their lower passions—or like the sweet corn—sweet, wholesome, encouraging others to use their higher reasoning powers and self-control. But how exactly can we know which we are? While listening to a message on this topic recently, I learned some beautiful simple principles for distinguishing between modest and immodest clothing. These principles have made choosing clothing much easier for me. Hopefully they'll be helpful to you, as well.
Only show half of a curve.
We ladies were created by God to have a form with many curves. Men's forms have more straight lines. Ladies have curves on their legs, hips, and busts. Every curve has an upper side and an under side. In order for our clothing to be feminine and yet modest, it should drape over the top side of our curves, but not cling to the under side. For example, when I choose a shirt, it's perfectly fine for it to drape over the top of my bust. But if it wraps around and reveals the entire curve so that everyone can tell exactly how large my bust is, then it is immodest. The same is true of skirts. They should drape over your hips, revealing the top side of the curve, and then hang loosely, concealing the under side of the curve. Skirts should also be long enough to show only half of the curve on your calves. A skirt that comes just below the knee exposes the entire curve of the calf and is not appropriate. We want to be feminine, but not seductive.
Keep your neckline high.
Of course we all know that a neckline should not be low enough to reveal brassieres or breasts. But what we often don't realize is that almost anything can look modest while we are standing perfectly straight and still in front of the mirror. When we begin to move about, though, our clothing also moves. Then neck holes that are too large can be a huge problem. I have often been so embarrassed for sisters when they leaned over to pick up a child or to shake the hand of someone who was sitting down, and their neck hole gaped open, revealing far too much.
Watch out for slits.
Your dress or skirt is really only as long as the fabric above the slit. Just like with the too-large neck hole, we cannot tell how much our slits will reveal until we start moving around. Remember, the “peek-a-boo game” that a slit plays is more provocative than a miniskirt.
Only wear clothing that fits you properly.
For girls who have very rounded, shapely figures, it is more difficult to dress modestly than it is for those with thin, straight figures. Girls who are very shapely will need to take extra measures to make sure their clothing is not too form-fitting. What is modest on one will not be modest on all. We have found this to be true in our own family. There are times when the five of us ladies like to dress alike or to share or trade clothes. But we all have very different shapes. We have to make sure we follow principle and wear only what is modest on ourselves.
Buy a larger size when you need to.
Young girls, your bodies may be growing and changing rapidly. Don't be too proud to buy larger sizes so that your clothing is comfortable, becoming, and modest. The same thing goes for older ladies who may be putting on weight due to a more sedentary time of life. If you are still squeezing yourself into your same old favorite blouse or dress, you could be setting a bad example for the younger ladies. It's time to let go of those old favorites and be comfortable and modest.
Beware of subtle trends toward immodesty.
The devil continues to get more and more sly when working in the fashion industry. This past year or two he's come up with some trends that even fool conservative Christians. Some of these inappropriate styles are even advertised as “modest!” One example is the style of putting tiny little tucks or gathers in the bust of blouses and sweaters. This is designed to draw the eye to the bust. Even little girls who have no curves yet appear as if they do when wearing this style.
Avoid high heels.
Not only are high-heeled shoes unhealthy for your feet and back, but they also throw your body into a very seductive posture. In fact, high heels may be one of the most provocative items in a woman's wardrobe. A nice, sensible, flat shoe with good arch supports is so much more healthy and fitting for a girl seeking to honor her Father in heaven.
Avoid ostentatious materials and styles.
“In like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel...not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array” (1 Timothy 2:9-10). In my recent study on modesty and dress, this verse struck me in a new way. The words costly array just jumped out at me. Now, I'm not a mall shopper. In fact, you will usually run into me at a thrift store, if I'm not at Wal-Mart. But even though I don't pay large sums of money for an article of clothing, do I give the impression that I do? A dear sister told me once that if she were just a visitor in our church (someone who didn't know I shopped at thrift stores), she would think that our family was one of the wealthiest because of the way we dressed. She meant it as a compliment, but although I accepted it as such, it made me extremely uncomfortable. Yes, we want our dress to be tasteful. But let's be careful that we aren't trying to appear better or more wealthy than others by choosing expensive-looking clothing.
Be distinctly feminine.
Dueteronomy 22:5 says, “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.” So what about unisex clothing—things like sweatshirts, t-shirts, sweatpants, turtlenecks? I don't know about you, but as I surveyed my own wardrobe, I had many questions about such articles. Wearing a t-shirt under a feminine blouse or sweater for modesty is one thing. But by themselves such items can often look quite mannish. I believe the concept of unisex clothing is definitely one of Satan's inventions to break down reserve and the distinction between men's and women's roles. So I've had to ask myself, “Do I want to be part of his agenda, even in a little way?”
Choose simple, neat, feminine hairstyles.
Can hairstyles be immodest? We women would all certainly agree that our hairstyle is one of the most important aspects of our outward appearance. But I never thought much about hairstyles being either modest or immodest until the Lord brought it to my attention. You can take a girl who is dressed perfectly modest, give her a certain hairstyle, and suddenly she becomes immodest. Think of the hairstyle with long bangs hanging into the face and draping over the eye. Doesn't it have a somewhat rebellious, provocative look? Hairstyles that are becoming to godly women are neat, tidy, and simple. They shouldn't take hours to perfect or require gallons of hairspray to stay in place. Our hairstyles should also be distinctly different from men's styles.
Take God's Word, not others, as your guide.
As Christians we cannot look to the world we live in for any amount of guidance. God's Word tells us, “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the traditions of men, after the rudiment of the world, and not after Christ” (Colosians 2:8). The Bible and the Bible only is to be our guide.
Now, what if our family, friends, or fellow church members don't agree with our convictions on modest dress? What if they think we're being fanatical? Many of us have had this experience, but take heart! God will sustain you and may even change the hearts of those who were once skeptical. For years, my husband did not see the subject of modesty exactly as I did. (It is a growing process and we don't all grow at the same pace.) There were times when I stuck to my convictions regardless of what others thought, and there were times when I fell into being a people-pleaser. I regret those times the most. But God continued calling me to a higher standard, even when I slipped. And due to our family's recent study on modesty, my husband and I now see the issue perfectly eye-to-eye. So I want to encourage you to take God's hand and persevere in following your convictions. He will abundantly bless you as you study, apply, and grow in grace with Him.
